Amber

 This week is feeling redundant.  I know I still need to get to sleep but I'm so tired of trying and failing so now I want to change my goal.  However, like I said, I still need to get to sleep on time.  So I have as of not yet done much energy work on it and have on many other things which have improved.  Reasons I have failed to use it for this my current goal are many and right now sound like a bunch of excuses so I'm skipping those and today, Monday, am implementing at least one, maybe two techniques.  I will report on any results good or bad and I want progress on this one this week.  I am also going to include it heavily in my prayers, throughout the day if necessary.  This non progress has been the story of my efforts for a long time.  Since I know I'm supposed to focus on it then I am assuming I'm supposed to progress at it.  So here goes this week. 

Goals:

• Planning meeting with God as soon as I am dressed and awake
• Alarm at 9:00- wrap it up and go get ready for bed.
• Alarm at 9:30- time to put it down now and go do my report meeting, afterwards do my routine.
• Routine includes electronic free time, cleaning up last minute things, getting dressed, washing my face, and either mediating or yoga or something really relaxing.
• Bed at 10 pm

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Rise Time	8:15	7	8	8:30
Bed Time	12	12	12

Monday:

*My thought today is a bit unusual.  I found a thing in the word of wisdom that I don't recall reading before.  Verse 2 says the word of wisdom is to show forth "the order and will of God in the temporal salvation of all saints in the last days."  First of all this says to me that God cares about the state of our temporal lives which is comforting.  He wants us to be healthy and happy in this life.  However I don't quite understand the phrase "temporal salvation".  It sounds like temporary salvation, does it mean those blessings are mostly for just the here and now and if we didn't live in this temporal life these rules would be different for us or not apply at all?  Or does it refer to the salvation from the conspiring men in the last days and their evils and designs?  Or is it something else altogether?  Anyone have any thoughts?

• A couple hours before bed I did some energy work and I found it easier to get off the computer.   Normally I would have probably just finished what I was doing but I managed to stop a little before 10.  Unfortunately I wasn't done on the phone and I stayed up watching nonsense until midnight.  It does take a day or two to process energy work so I am hoping for better tomorrow.

Tuesday:

*  I am so nervous right now, I'm headed to the dentist in a short while!  Just for a few fillings so I'm praying for an easy complication free experience.  I was too stressed to try to search the scriptures so I went the easy route and read a conference talk by Elder Soares called "Jesus Christ: The Caregiver of Our Soul."  My favorite part is that "the Savior offers us relief and comfort as a we face our afflictions, temptations, and weaknesses of mortal life."  I feel that we hear all about the things we need to do to return to heaven and sometimes it seems like too much to do.  The best part in my opinion is that we are not expected to do any of it alone.  We can do any and all of it with the Savior.  We are not meant to do any of it alone.  It is expected that we will fail, that is part of the plan.  It is not a mistake that we can't do it as we think we ought to, it is part of God's plan.  The Savior makes up the difference until we get better and can do things.  Wherever we are at individually is doable for the Savior to help us, nothing is beyond his capability or understanding.

• Ugh I failed again.  I was off of the game before 10 but not the computer until 11 and then on the phone until around midnight.  I will try again tomorrow, I hope to be more successful.

Wednesday:

* I found a nice little thought in section 90.  The Lord promises that "all things shall work together for your good."  Yes there are things we are responsible for and yes many of those things ask us to stretch further than we can by ourselves.  However it is comforting to know that whatever we face, however often we fail, and how impossible some of these things seem to us they all have a purpose.  In the end their main purpose is for our good.  I've started to recognize that in my challenges, when something stands in your way or gets your attention in a negative way it has with it a message that there is something you need to change.  Sometimes it is an inward change, something you need to fix about yourself.  Then sometimes it is a way to draw your attention to something outside of yourself, someone in need help.  Whatever the challenge it is ultimately a good thing.  Recognizing this has helped me be grateful for the difficult things in life.

• I did it again.  Now I will say that I feel better about going to bed, in fact I feel a tug of desire when it gets to bed time that I didn't feel before.  It is just not as strong as my need for some play time.  This week I've been unwell in general, so I spend the day trying to keep up with Grandma and the house, then after dinner I get free time.  Unfortunately I have had so many personal things come up that it is around 8 before I have time to play.  Play time is essential for me so I would like to get it in earlier so it will be out of the way when bedtime comes.  There could be other solutions but for now that seems the simplest.

Thursday:

* President Nelson many years ago said that when we lose someone we care about we mourn for them.  "Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love."  I had never thought of it like that.  I don't particularly like to be sad, who does.  Unfortunately I have taken it a little further.  I don't let things get too close to me much anymore because I don't want to get attached and then feel sad when I have to be parted from that thing.  However, President Nelson goes on to say that "The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life."  That is not the kind of life I want to live so I think I may have some work to do in that department.