Amber - I can pray

Like I said I'm going to put better focus on the prayer this week.  I'm sick right now as we speak and this makes it super difficult to do my morning and evening routines.  However I can definitely pray so I'm going to do that this week!  Also I did some body code work and discovered that I have excess chemical toxicity from sugar.  Big surprise!  I just recently downed two bags of candy within two days.  Every time I start to feel good then I go and eat excessive sugar and then I get sick.  This time the sick was worse so I've decided I need to get off the sugar.  I'm going to restrict my sugar intake by saying no to all desserts, sugary toppings, and juices for this week and then we will see.  The only exception is the gatorade I'm sipping right now because I'm a little too dehydrated.  Also I'm going to put the family history goal aside this week because I'm getting a little overwhelmed with the amount of goals that I'm failing at.  If I can feel all better next week and more importantly if I'm making progress on my prayer goal then I'll add it back in.  This weeks goals are as follows.

1. Good prayers morning, midday, and evening.

2. Morning and evening routines when I can, meaning if my sickness allows.

3. Phone out of the room unless I'm stuck in bed sick and have nothing to do because I'm going to break the rule anyways so I might as well add the exception here.  However I'd rather go sit on the couch instead of my bed so it's only if I need to be laying down.

4. Sugar restrictions of no dessert, no fruit juices, no sugar toppings like syrup or sugar on my cereal or sugary dressings.

Monday:

* I love Alma 36!  It could be my favorite chapter in all of the Book of Mormon, though I can't say for sure.  This time through I liked the first verse of the chapter.  It says that inasmuch as ye keep the commandments of God  ye shall prosper in the land.  First this doesn't mean you won't have trials but whatever is happening if you keep the commandments you will prosper through it.  Also inasmuch means to the extent.  So the more often or better that you keep the commandments of God the more or better you prosper in the land.  I suppose that is what I've been trying to do here by focusing on the spiritual goals.

• I woke up at around 8 or so, I'm not exactly sure as I misplaced my alarm clock and kicked my phone out just before I went to bed.  I'm still feeling sick but don't have to throw up so that is an improvement.  I didn't do any morning routine.
• Already failing today, I didn't make any notable progress on my prayers today.
• Phone was in my room most of the day because I was.
• I did succeed with the sugar goal though that was going to happen anyways because I still have the stomach flu and I could barely eat anything today.
• I went to bed late again, I was on the computer.  No routine.

Tuesday:

* I followed a Come Follow Me suggestion and made a list of the experiences or blessings of someone who had been born of God as found in Alma 36 and a couple other references.  I'm not going to put that list here as it was fairly long however there was one point that I don't recall noticing or hearing quite in this way before.  Alma says in Mosiah 27:29 that he was in the darkest abyss but now beholds the marvelous light of God.  It made me think that in this world there is a lot of negativity and it seems to be that the world is in that dark abyss.  Even in my own life when I'm not living like I should I feel dark and depressed.  However whenever I turn to God and repent I see that light and things look brighter.  It's like being in a dark room and then the light lets you see things for what they really are.  It puts things in perspective.  When I stumble again so long as I'm focusing on Christ and using his atonement I still feel joy and peace that always eventually overcomes the depression and dark.

• I didn't wake until grandpa knocked on the door saying he was off to work.  That was around 8.  I didn't get a great routine but I did sleep well so I'm ok with what I did this morning.
• Prayer has started out great.  I had a nice morning prayer as well as a midday prayer.  My evening prayer was a flop, I just rolled over to pray and it was short.
• Eh not doing good on the phone thing again, it's been in my room most of the time even though I don't have my charger in there.
• I didn't have sugar again!
• I stayed up on the computer again and didn't get to bed until 11:30

Wednesday:

* While reading Alma 37 I noticed how strongly Alma spoke of the records.  He said multiple times that God was preserving them for a wise purpose and pointed out how the Lord viewed them as sacred and holy and also it was a sacred trust to care for them.  I've only thought about the scriptures when I've read this in the past but today I broadened it to how the Lord feels about the things her trusts me with.  I don't have any gold plates but he has given me charge of many things including callings, missionary work, relationships, covenants, commandments, and a body just to name a few.  If I would view those as sacred as well I think I would do better with them.

• I slept in a little again but Grandpa has been getting up early every morning and going off to work by 8.  We used to eat at 9 and he wouldn't leave until 10, I think he wants more time at the shop before dinner.  Usually I wouldn't mind this but when I'm sick it makes it a little more difficult.  I could tell I needed more sleep, I'll just have to go to bed on time.
• Prayer was good this morning and at midday.  Also had a good evening prayer.
• Bad on phone.
• So last week I bought Tillamook last week because it was half price.  I hid one of them for later and it was chocolate.  Today I gave in and pulled it out and ate a cup.  Payed for it on the toilet but in some ways it was worth it, every bite was really good and so smooth.
• Stayed up watching designing videos for kitchens.  I had trouble falling asleep because my mind was going on how to design a kitchen.  However I was in bed by 11, that is better than yesterday.

Thursday:

* Read the second half of Alma 37 and had a question.  If anyone actually reads this and feels inclined to share your thoughts then please comment.  In verse 32 it says to teach the people to have an everlasting hatred of sin and iniquity.  I have a problem with the word hate, it seems like the wrong word to use and I was wondering what all of you thought?

• I woke up before 7 but didn't get up and do my routine like I need to.
• I did have a nice morning prayer but was busy when my midday alarm went and I can't remember if I got a prayer then at all today or not.  Evening prayer not great today either.
• Better on phone but only because I just didn't spend time in my room.
• Ice cream again, that chocolate is so good!  I ate too much and now I think I feel a little sick again.
• Was up way to late, didn't go to bed until 1:30.  I was figuring out what sort of style I like in decor and furniture.  It has been fun and I've narrowed it down between a few different styles.  (future me) After reading tomorrow's scripture study I realize I'm putting this fun thing ahead of more important things and for any of you that can easily turn into idol worship so I have to do the other stuff first.  Getting to bed on time is more important that house design and decor.

Friday:

* I read a talk given by Elder Oaks in April 2018 that is titled "Small and Simple Things".  It really gave me encouragement to keep going.  I've been not doing those small things with my goals, putting other things first because I'm getting results in those areas and not considering it as big a deal if I miss once or twice.  However I was reminded that those small things that I've ignored create pathways that become habits.  If you don't repeat those actions consistently then it will take much longer to reach the end result.  Like a drip of water that eventually erodes the ground or like a strand of fiber that gets combined with other strands it is the layers or repeats that make the bigger difference.  In his talk Elder Oaks quotes President Wheelwright when he spoke of Alma's teachings, it goes "the pattern the Lord follows when we exercise faith in Him and follow His counsel in small and simple things is that He blesses us with small daily miracles, and over time, with marvelous works."

• My late night meant I didn't get up until around 8:30 and no morning routine.
• I did say an ok morning prayer, it would have been better if I'd wait until I'd woken up more.  My scripture study influenced my midday prayer and it was great!  Don't remember my evening prayer. 

(I usually write about the evening prayer and the rest of the day on the next day so I only have to post once a day however if I miss a day then I get really far from the events and forget.  I was pretty depressed on Saturday and didn't write again until Sunday so bear that in mind when you read this.  Also so far I can't see that anybody reads these and it does help me keep motivated if I know someone is actually reading these.  So far I feel like I'm all alone here and just talking to nothing.  If someone is actually reading then it would help me if you would either comment or access the blog from the front.  If you click on my post's from the back end instead of view the blog and then clicking on my post then it doesn't show up in the counters and then I don't see that anyone has seen it.  I would really appreciate it.)

• Phone was ok but I didn't make any special effort to keep it out.
• Switched to sorbet instead of ice cream and my body definitely liked it better.  I feel a little better today.
• So I haven't been sewing but I have been designing on the computer.  I've got mom and dad's house plan all laid out and finally got all of the doors and windows in correctly.  I'm usually a free version of the 3D modelling program called Sketchup.  It's very easy to customize but that can make it complicated the further you get so I've taken a free course and followed along on some youtube videos and I'm able to do a floor plan now.
• Went to bed at 11ish or so, again better than yesterday.

Saturday:

* I did read today but was super depressed and couldn't get myself to record anything.  I didn't really find anything to share.

• I woke sometime today, can't remember right now and I didn't do any routine.
• Prayer existed today but not at midday.  Evening prayer was a blur can't remember it either, oh yes I rolled over to say it and then went to sleep.
• Phone was in the room again.
• Ate the rest of the sorbet but resisted even tasting the chocolate ice cream.
• I'm working on the kitchen and added all of the big appliances, outlined the cupboards/counters, and put in the storage and table in the dining room.
• Was in bed around 12:30 again.  I think I need to rearrange my evening schedule.  I've learned I need to work first and play after all of the work is done because once I start playing I don't want to be productive.  So I think I need to focus on getting my work done before 7.  At 7 will be my play time and if I find my work fun and want to keep at it then I can but that is what I'll do for fun.  Hopefully this will allow me to get off in time.

Sunday:

* I love Sundays and I feel much better right now.  I decided to answer a question posed in Come Follow Me for Alma 38.  Here Alma tells his son Shiblon to bridle all of his passions.  The question is how bridling your passions can help you be filled with the love of God.  The main thing I thought was that when you don't bridle your passions then you are focusing on selfish things and there is little room for the love of God in that state.  Bridling your passions give more room for the love of God, it is also part of keeping the commandments of God and your covenants you made with God.  In addition to that I find that one way to bridle my passions is to look outside of myself and focus on someone else's needs this will automatically fill you with the love of God.

• Oh boy did I sleep in today.  Or at least for me, I wasn't up until 11 though I confess I was in bed for an hour before I pulled myself out of bed.  Yesterday we went out to eat and I found that I really wasn't feeling that well so once we got home I did some body code and took it easy and then let myself sleep long.
• I said a more heartfelt prayer this morning but I missed the midday prayer.
• Phone got kicked out in the evening but came back in when I couldn't sleep.
• I did eat some more ice cream today.
• Went to bed just after 10 but I couldn't sleep for a while so I grabbed my phone and then was asleep pretty quickly.

Not had the progress I'd have liked this week.  I'll try again next week.