Amber - Building the Routine

 I am starting this week more positive than last week.  Still no updates on the blog count but I chickened out on sending the text, maybe I'll get that sent this week.  Though I will say that Aubrey said she looked at it but it was from the back end and the blog doesn't count the views unless from the front end.  I did pretty well last week as far as the timing of my first goal.  Now I would like to add to the required things.  Again here is the goal list slightly edited and I'm focusing on 1 and 2, if I can get any of the others done then yay a bonus!

1. 8:30 I say my repentance prayer.  I've mostly stayed steady at 8:30, however the quality of the prayer doesn't always please me so I'm going to try making a prayer outline and seeing if that helps.

2. I make a plan and prepare for the next day.

3. 10:00 I get off of all electronics.

4. 10:30 I go to bed.

5. I get up at 6 am and do my morning routine.

6. I add the rest of evening routine.

Monday:

* Today is a short thought.  In Helaman 13 it tells how the land was cursed because of wickedness and the people would lose their treasures and tools because of it.  A couple of the verses say that one of the causes for this is the people forgot to thank the Lord for their treasures.  The thing I liked was that the Lord gave them their riches.  We are given so many things by our Father that we can't count them all.  We could spend all day in prayer thanking the Father for these blessings and still not name them all individually.  Yet how many do we even recognize came from Him and then how many of those do we forget to thank him for?  Gratitude is one of the keys to happiness.  It brings joy when we recognize our blessings, this in turn lets us see more of those blessings.  It also opens the door to receive more blessings.

• I was 30 mins late but I wrote a prayer outline and it helped me stay on track and prayer turned out really well
• I also made a plan for the next day.
• Nothing else to report.

Tuesday:

* Samuel the Lamanite tells the people of Zarahemla that they were seeking for happiness by doing wickedness which thing is impossible.  Now I see many people who are choosing wickedness and seem to have happiness.  So this makes me wonder what is happiness.  Wickedness can bring pleasure to the natural man but happiness seems to be more than pleasure or having fun.  On the contrary I have found happiness in my life when things are going bad or when things are hard.  This is not what the world teaches but it is better than what they teach.  I have been the happiest in my life when I am being righteous and sometimes that has meant not doing the things that I think are fun or appealing.  Happiness for me always includes a sense of peace with myself and with what I'm doing and with God.  Then it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks, I am happy.

• I made it again!  It was a wonderful prayer.  I am amazed at how much it has improved just from having an outline in front of me.  It keeps me focused on the prayer because my mind gets distracted easily.  I get everything in that I wanted to say and I feel the spirit pretty strong, I also feel more like I'm conversing with God rather than throwing a quick text or email off.
• I did once again plan my tomorrow, it was even a better plan.
• I came close to getting off of the computer, really close.  I was playing a game and I came to a point where I had one little mission before I got to the next stage.  I thought that it would take but a few minutes.  However I forgot how long it was, it took almost two hours and once you start you can't exit unless you want to start over.  Which I kept thinking that I was almost done.  It's kind of like the movie the return of the king in that it has multiple endings so you think oh I'm almost finished but then another scene starts.  Anyways I should have known better and listened to myself/the spirit but oh well, maybe I'll do better tomorrow.  I'm feeling a shift in myself for the last week or so.  I've been doing an energy healing course for my being sick all of the time, and the instructor said at one point your body will start working with you and you will feel more and more of a push to do the healthy things.  I noticed this before I heard that information, I've been feeling a stronger desire to sleep more and oddly enough (but quite exciting) my cravings for sugar are less.  We always have ice cream in the fridge because it's grandma's favorite treat, I'll confess I eat a lot of it.  However I've left it alone for a few days here and there and haven't really had a strong craving to eat it.  I even had some today but it wasn't as yummy as usual.  My goals have also become more important and it seems easier to do them.

Wednesday:

* Today I didn't really have a spiritual thought but more of a curiosity.  Samuel the Lamanite said that when Christ dies the earth will be broken up in pieces and will forever after be known this way (or something to that effect).  This made me really curious to know what it was like before, he says it was nearly whole.  So how much of the earth is he talking about and which parts were hills and are now valleys and vice versa?  Are there any scientific studies that show a great upheaval during this time?  I haven't looked into it but if anyone knows then please do share.

• Alas I was depressed and put off the prayer, so much so that it didn't really happen, I sent a quick text and went to sleep.
• Same with the planning, it didn't even think about it I was too tired.  In fact I was pretty tired all day.  Monday night I only got 4 hours of sleep, though I went to bed earlier than usual.  However I lay in bed for 4 hours trying to sleep.  at three I almost got up to start my day but then I finally fell asleep.  Tuesday I was totally fine but my bad sleep always gets me the second day so today I was very tired.

Thursday:

* I read a conference talk by Elder Rasband called "By Divine Design".  In there I found a sentence that touched me.  He said that "No trial or calamity can derail God's plan of happiness".  That sounds very general but I felt it applied to my plan of happiness.  Sometimes I wonder if my struggles are making me miss out on things I could have had.  Logically that is true but according to this it is all part of God's plan for me.  I will have all the happiness God has planned for me despite the trials I go through.  In other words I'm really missing out on nothing.  That is very reassuring and encouraging and even exciting for me.

• I feel better today and I did my prayer on time.
• I also wrote out my next day plan.
• Nothing else.

Friday:

* I read Helaman 15 where Samuel is still speaking to the Nephites.  Focusing on verse 7 today for my thought.  I liked towards the end, it says that many of the Lamanites were let to believe the scriptures "which leadeth them to faith on the Lord, and unto repentance, which faith and repentance bringeth a change of heart unto them."  What struck me was the order of the path here.  Faith leads to repentance but it is these two things that bring a change of heart.  Often I've thought why should I say sorry when I'm not really sorry?  I make an attempt anyways but I've generally thought I need to change my heart before I can really repent.  However this scripture tells me that I ought to repent before I'll get the change I want.  A change of heart is a by product of faith and repentance.  It reassures me that I'm going about it the right way and that the change of heart will come.

• I did say my prayer though a bit late.
• I did not plan my tomorrow.
• Nothing else to report

Saturday:

* Two things stuck out to me and they are about signs.  Helaman 16 tells that Samuel could not be hit by the stones and arrows of the Nephites.  There were two reactions from the Nephites.  One group was convinced and left to find Nephi to repent and be baptized.  The other group said it was of the devil and sent soldiers to take him.  Signs aren't the convincing power but can strengthen those who already believe.  The ones who were convinced must have had an open mind.  Later on it says that those who hardened their hearts were not impressed by the signs but thought it coincidence.  The key to that is found in verse 15.  Their hearts began to be hardened at the same time that they began to rely on their own strength and wisdom.  When you do this you don't recognize the hand of God in your life.  This can quickly harden your heart.  This why it is so important to thank God and recognize the blessings he gives you.  It's not really so much for him but it is for you to keep you from falling away.

• I said my prayer but not very involved today because mom and dad were here and I was in the middle of something.  I really need to put it first and most important in order for it to work as well as I like.
• I didn't plan in fact I got on the computer and didn't go to bed until real late.

Sunday:

* I was in come follow me today.  One section talked about listening and following the counsel of the prophets.  I'm pretty good at reading my scriptures so if I get anything else beyond that then I'm doing really good.  Now every general conference we are asked to read or listen or watch the messages again.  I always intend to but feel like I don't have enough time to do anything so I don't actually do it very often at all.  I prefer to read them and then I can mark them up, plus it's much faster than listening or watching (one of the biggest reasons I don't like audio books, they are so slow.)  So I felt I need to include conference talks into my study, however I'm not sure how.  The first thought  that came to me was that I don't feel like I have the time but we are given many examples of the Lord providing the things we need when we sacrifice for it.  So that means I need to just do it and trust that he will give me the time to do it.  Then just now I thought maybe I could include it when the day calls for a short chapter or especially when there are fewer chapters in the weeks come follow me lesson.  I'll try it and let you all know how it goes.

• I said my prayer, it went better today.
• I went to bed but couldn't sleep because I had this thing in my head saying I really should plan for tomorrow.  I resisted for a few minutes and then gave in and got up and did it.

I would say it was somewhat successful.  I'm definitely reacting to my alarm better, a week of focusing on that goal only was just what I needed.  I could do a lot better on the planning but I still did over half of the week so still successful.