Amber - This is how I am

 I'm disappointed that no one has viewed my posts even though I've asked on Marco Polo at least twice and several of you in person or on the phone yet nothing.  I suppose I've kept it rather casual and encouraging and haven't let you know that I'm getting rather desperate and also starting to feel like no here cares.  I know you are all busy but I also really need some support and help.  I'll try texting you all and see if that helps.  If that doesn't work then I'm going to be making some phone calls.  Like I said I'm getting desperate.  Enough of that now on to the goals!  Here they are, a direct copy from last week.

1. 8:30 I say my repentance prayer.

2. I make a plan and prepare for the next day.

3. 9:30 I get off of all electronics.

4. 10:00 I go to bed.

5. I get up at 6 am and do my morning routine.

6. I add the rest of evening routine.

These are in order of importance so I'm still focusing on number one and when I get that consistent this week then I'll add focus to number two for next week.

Monday:

* Going back to unity now.  In Matthew 12:25 Jesus says that every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand.  This was very evident among the Nephites in the latter half of Alma.  Whenever they were not all united against the Lamanites then they lost ground and people were killed.  I feel that way in my own life.  Whenever I am not united with what God wants then I fail in what I want and fail in areas where I was doing well.

• I have failed today, I didn't hear my alarm and totally forgot about prayer until bed.  However I actually just started this post on Tuesday so I knew I had failed and am prepared to succeed tomorrow (aka today because it's actually Tuesday but this is under Monday so I try to keep it consistent) and the rest of the week.

Tuesday:

* I'm in Helaman now and have noticed that all of the bad guys get their followers by flattery.  When you look that word up the prime definition means the things you say are generally insincere or exaggerated.  I've always thought of flattering someone as saying what they want to hear over what is true or what they need to hear.  If you notice the church does not teach flattery.  As a missionary focusing on what was nice and what we already had in common got you smiling faces and warm fuzzies.  They loved what you were saying because they already believed it.  It was a useful tool at times and it's not exactly flattery if everything you say is the absolute truth, however as a missionary I was taught to focus on what made us different, what they were missing.  This gave people a reason to change and sifted out who was interested in the truth vs those who were unwilling to change.  It's not necessarily popular, look at the scriptures they are full of prophets crying repentance and being rejected.  However the truth is the way to true happiness.

• I got my alarm, I said my prayer immediately, and I felt really good about it all.
• Nothing else to report.

Wednesday:

* I loved Helaman 3:29.  I have found this to be true that the word of God is quick and powerful and divides asunder all the cunning and the snares and the wiles of the devil.  It then also leads you to the truth and keeps you on the path that brings peace.  Whenever I get confused or hear things or have questions that I don't have answers for then I find clarity and answers in the scriptures.  Not just some but all of the things I struggled with, anything that has been important to me, all can be found in the word of God.

• Happy day I did it again!  I'm going to make it this week.  I responded to my alarm and said my prayer, doing it again tomorrow.
• Nothing else done.

Thursday:

* Helaman 4 gives a very clear picture of what happens when you battle alone.  The Nephites got wicked again and stopped turning to the Lord.  When this happened they lost the help they'd usually had when they fought the Lamanites.  This time when the Lamanites came they were only as strong as their foes.  Since the Lamanites were far larger in number the Nephites didn't stand a chance.  Without help they were just like the Lamanites.  I experience this in my own personal battles all of the time.  I'm always trying to do it alone and I fail every time.  When I'm including the Lord in these attempts not only do I make progress in what I'm trying but even more often I find I get other blessings that I wasn't planning on or that I didn't think I needed but found that sometimes they were even better than the thing I was trying for.

• Success again!  I said my prayer at 8:30.
• Nothing else

Friday:

*I was so busy today that I didn't get to blog so I can't quite remember what I learned on Friday.

• I was successful again, prayer happened at 8:30, though I almost put it off because I was in the middle of something.  But then I remembered that no I wanted to succeed this week so I stopped and did it.

Saturday:

* Ok so the no blogging happened two days in a row.  I've been reading in Helaman and I can't remember what chapter and I'm too lazy to go get my scriptures.  In Helaman the Lamanites attacked again and because the Nephites were wicked and thus no stronger than the Lamanites they lost all of their lands south even up until the Land Bountiful which is most of the lands they were fighting over last time.  Some of the people repented and as they did so Moronihah was able to lead them and take back half of what they lost.  However they couldn't obtain more so they gave up.  Then the Nephites become prosperous then prideful, then wicked again.  However those who were righteous were very strong and some of them went down to the Lamanites and converted a large portion of them to the truth.  The Lamanites then returned the rest of their lands.  What armies could not do even when led by a righteous leader the word of God was able to do.  Faith is stronger than fear so when you are afraid just use some faith and it will be alright in the end.

• I did it again!  Also I had to interrupt a conversation/play games with Chase session.  I'm feeling pretty good about the on time part of my goal.  I'm hoping my consistency will make it easier to do when I add more next week.
• Nothing else to report.

Sunday:

* So today I went back into Helaman 5 and noticed something.  Towards the beginning and up to verse 12 Helaman is telling his children the things he wants them to know.  All of them are good things about the gospel and Christ.  However what stuck out to me this time was how often he says the word remember.  Over and over he says to remember this and then remember that.  We are taught the same things over and over in the gospel.  So it is important that we remember so that then we can act on those things.  Sometimes to me it feels like it's being drilled into my head but I'm pretty good at forgetting and then things go bad.  I don't get why when I have an amazing experience with prayer or with service or any other principle and then I go and do the opposite another time.  This makes no sense to me.   However Heavenly Father knows this is how it goes with us.  This is a main reason for reading the scriptures every day so we can remember the things it contains. 

• I did react to my alarm but on my way to my room to pray I got distracted by other things I had to do.  I did pray it was just 30 mins late.
• Nothing else

I would call this week a success.  The one thing I required myself to do I did pretty well.  On to next week!