Amber - Tired

 I'm feeling great about today but not so great about these goals.  The longer I fail the less enthusiasm I have for them.  However I'm going to try again this week and make changes next week if I still fail.  Here are the goals below.

1. 8:30 I say my repentance prayer.

2. I make a plan and prepare for the next day.

3. 10:00 I get off of all electronics.

4. 10:30 I go to bed.

5. I get up at 6 am.

6. I exercise first thing.

7. I do the rest of my morning routine.

8. I add the rest of evening routine.

I'm working on 1-6.

Monday:

* I just realized that I am over a week ahead of the come follow me schedule so I'm going to spread things thin until I'm even again.  Today my thought comes from 1 Nephi 12:19.  Nephi says that the Nephites will be wiped out by the Lamanites and that the cause will be their own pride and the temptations of the devil.  I thought of my my pride and how I often try to do things on my own.  However, Nephi clearly links the pride with temptations.  Once you try to do it alone then you become weak.  It seems like it should be the opposite.  As a child you learned to do things on your own and that would make you stronger but apparently if you leave God out of it all together then it actually makes you weaker and susceptible to the powers of the enemy.

• I woke after 8.
• I didn't yoga today but I did go for a short walk with grandma.
• ugg I didn't do it again.  I looked at the clock, saw the time and thought oh the alarm goes in 15 mins.  I then felt a dread and not wanting to do it.  I realized that I've been purposefully ignoring my alarm because I don't want to stop what I'm doing.  It signals the end of the day and it is so early and I didn't get enough done and I have so many more things I want to do and I didn't get enough relaxation time...etc.  So when the alarm went I turned off and did nothing.  I also stayed up until 11.

Tuesday:

* I'm actually about 2 weeks ahead.  I found my thought in Mormon 5 today.  Verse 15-19 talks about how wicked the Nephites have become and how they will be.  Mormon describes them as follows:

-shall be scattered

-dark, filthy, and loathsome, beyond the description of that which has yet been among the Nephites.

-without the spirit

-without Christ and God in the world

-driven as chaff before the wind

-led about by Satan

-without sail, anchor, or anything to steer them

-their blessings are given to others

All of these things sound quite awful.  Mormon says that this filthy state is because of their unbelief and idolatry.  I would like to avoid this state above, it sounds like the worst kind of nightmare only in real life!  I don't have much to say about the unbelief right now.  However, I feel the idolatry can apply to me.  Idolatry is any time you are putting something above the things of God.  If God is not coming first in your life then something else is.  This is what I've been trying to work on for some time.  Spiritual things must come first or we experience some of the symptoms above.  I know this to be true, I've lived both ways and I can tell you that when I put the things of God first then everything else finds its place.  Either it magically fits and I have the time and energy for it or it fades away and is no longer important to me.  I've struggled a lot with giving things up that I really want to do.  I've come to realize that God wants those things for me too.  Most of them bring me joy, God wants me to have joy, he wants me to grow and have fun and experience things.  If there is something good that I should exchange for something better then he lets me know otherwise I can do a multitude of things I like to do and God is happy to support me in those things.  Since learning this I've been able to let go more easily, put the spiritual things first and then I'm blessed for that.

• I knew I needed sleep so I didn't do an alarm and I woke at around 8.  I don't know if I told you but while I was doing some energy healing a couple weeks ago I discovered that I could muscle test for how many hours of sleep I should get a night.  Duh of course you can ask your body anything about it or its needs but it just never occurred to me to ask about sleep.  So I did and I got that I needed 9 hours of sleep a night.  I've noticed that if I get those 9 hours I wake feeling well rested and awake, ready to get up and get going.  If I get less than that I wake groggy and wishful of more sleep.
• I did a mild yoga exercise only 14 mins and focused on mild stretching so it hardly felt like exercise, don't think I'll do that one again.  I'm pretty stationary in general, a lot of things I do when I'm not cleaning or exercising involve sitting somewhere.  Since doing this weight-loss energy clearing plan I've realized my body needs a lot more movement.  The yoga is ok but I've been feeling I need to add more active movement.  I'm going to try to go on more walks and then maybe add some cardio.  I'd start right now but my ankle is still healing so alas I must be gentle with it so it will actually heal.  I might find some mild cardio to start with, probably some sort of dancing because running is like torture and some others can be super boring.  I like dancing.
• I planned for tomorrow and I went to go to bed at 10 but nothing else happened and I actually went to bed closer to 11.  I looked in the mirror and believe it or not I stayed up to pluck my eyebrows.

Wednesday:

* Mormon 7 is short but has some nice things in it.  The first thing I noticed is that Mormon gives a list of all the things we should know.  The first thing struck me, it is that we should know that we are of the house of Israel.  This is valuable because then you can look at all of the blessings promised to the house of Israel and apply them to yourself, it is a lot of stuff.  The next thing I thought was that it is important to know who your ancestors were.  Throughout the Book of Mormon the prophets are constantly reminding the people that they should remember what the Lord has done for their fathers.  So not just so you can do their work for them but because their lives and examples can have an influence in your life.  Learning their stories and seeing how the Lord has helped them can then inspire you and teach you things.

• I woke at 7 today.
• I did a very easy 10 min yoga exercise.  Great for going to bed but not so useful for waking up.
• I didn't do any of my evening goals today, though to be honest I didn't use my plan for the day so I'm just going to use it for tomorrow.  I went to bed at almost midnight.
• I was up so late because I'm making Kiley a Snuggle Me, it's a baby lounger.  I finished it last night but I must make covers tomorrow.  Here is a picture of the completed project.  It's made of 100% unbleached cotton muslin.  Now I've made it I'm thinking the original had a bit thicker fabric but it wouldn't still need to be soft and cotton.  Maybe a flannel and organic would have been best.  However I couldn't find any organic cotton in store and had run out of time to order anything.  It is then filled with hypoallergenic polyester fiberfill (I bought a pillow and stole it's insides), this will allow it to be cleaned in the washer.
  
  
  

Thursday:

* I read Mormon 7 again.  At the end of the chapter Mormon says that it shall be well with you in the day of judgement if you believe in Christ, are baptized with water the Holy Ghost, and follow the example of Christ as he has commanded.  In the south I heard a few different opinions on being "saved".  Some literally thought they only needed to believe in Christ and confess his name and then they would be saved.  Some felt they needed to do enough good things to outweigh the bad and then they would be saved.  However the majority that I spoke with believed that to be saved you had to believe in Christ and confess his name.  Then your actions would follow but you weren't required to do any specific things.  If you weren't doing good things then your heart obviously wasn't in it and you weren't saved.  To some degree they are correct, your heart needs to be in it.  It's not so much important where you are on the path but that you are sincere in your attempts and doing your best.  I am grateful that men are not the judge and that we are judged by what is in our heart in addition to our actions.  I am also grateful that we have a clear path to follow and specific milestones that we can aim for and measure our progress by, that we aren't left blindly to figure out how to get to heaven or to know if we are good enough.

• I woke up at close to 6 which is not enough sleep for me but I was too awake so I got up at 7.
• I did a short yoga practice of 11 mins but it was meant to wake you up so it was much more effective than yesterdays exercise.
• I didn't get to bed until 12:30, I was doing some work on the computer.  I didn't do any of my evening goals.  Today is the last day of the weight loss program and no I haven't lost any weight but I will tell you I feel great about my body!  My body image has improved by...a lot!  As in more than double maybe by 3x.  I still see some work to go on that but I feel so much better about myself, beyond anything I've ever felt about my body before.  I so wish I could go back to my teen self and feel this way!
• I shortened one of grandma's shirts because it was too long and also missing a button so then she won't get frustrated trying to find a button for the missing button hole.  I also made the covers for the snuggle me.  I used Celia's serger so it was pretty quick.  Here they are.
  
  
  

Friday:

* In Mormon 7 at the end it talks about how the Book of Mormon and the Bible support each other.  In the bible at the end of the book of revelations it says not to add unto this book.  People use that as a reason for why the Book of Mormon or any other new revelation can't be from God.  Never mind that Revelations was not originally the last book written or that it could be referencing the book of revelations alone.  What I like is that everything taught in the Bible is made clear and supported by the Book of Mormon.  It isn't adding things that weren't taught in biblical times but it is clarifying the things that were taken out and giving a different viewpoint on the same truths already taught in the Bible.  Reading how strongly the prophets felt about the scriptures and about their own revelations made me think about my own journaling.  I'm terrible at it yet we are asked to do it.  Perhaps we could influence future generations, or perhaps we could help ourselves.  Either way I would like to get better at it.  Right now this blog is pretty much all I have, though I have been doing a little bit with the energy healing.  Moroni says that our weaknesses can be made strengths, it would be neat to be able to write things that are more interesting and useful.  I would like to be able to get better at storytelling in my journals.  I guess I'll add it to the list and get to it when I feel it can fit.

• I got up a little before 7.
• I did do a short yoga exercise.
• We got home later than usual so I worked until around midnight on some things that couldn't wait.  I should have started earlier but oh well, I got done and I'm excited for next week.  Oh this means that I didn't do any of my evening goals again.

Saturday:

* Today I noticed a thing in Mormon 8.  Moroni has the plates now and he gives a promise that I've never seen before.  In verse 12 he says that those who receive the record and don't condemn it shall know greater things than even the record contains.  There is some awesome stuff in the Book of Mormon, I get new things all of the time and it has shaped my life for the better.  So just accepting that what the Book of Mormon says is true for you and by not condemning any of the writers or what is written, those two things alone, according to Moroni here, guarantee you more knowledge, things beyond what the Book of Mormon teaches.  Not a very intense requirement but also an exciting prospect for the future.

• I asked for enough sleep yesterday morning.  So when I got to bed at around midnight I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't get the sleep I needed.  I usually wake up at around 6-7 and then can't get back to sleep.  However I woke up at nearly 9.  So though I had thought my prayers would help me get to bed early enough it turned out that they helped me stay asleep in the morning.  Not entirely ideal but worked for the situation.
• I did actually do yoga today despite the late hour.  It was only 10 mins.  It is the last of the short exercises from my selection.  Monday I'll move up to the med length videos.
• I don't remember when I went to bed but I didn't get my goals done.

Sunday:

*Alas I didn't read my scriptures today but I did go to church and that was nice.

• I woke up at 8:33 and managed to get to church by 9:03.  I missed announcements and the first song but made it for the talks and the sacrament.
• Sunday is a no exercise day so no yoga.
• I went to bed at 10 but I couldn't sleep until 11.  It was annoying, I usually go to sleep very quickly.
• I did say my prayer and I did do part of my planning for tomorrow.

Obviously this week was a bit of a flop as far as these goals go but I still feel really good about myself and I am quite excited for next week.