Amber - Start of a new year

 Ok I've reorganized and refocused and come up with a better plan.  If you remember some posts back I mentioned that my main goal was getting back to the temple.  Because it was so personal I wasn't posting all of my goals, well having two sets of goals and only reporting on one has been a little confusing so I'm going to be putting all of my goals on here, slightly edited because I'm not quite that comfortable.  However you are all my family so I'm fine if you know that I'm struggling, well to be honest I don't really care that much if you actually know what I'm struggling with.

Anyways I started by figuring out the three biggest things I needed to not do and then I turned them into positives because that is more fun but also because that actually works better.  If you put your thoughts onto what you don't want then it feeds that energy and it becomes more likely to happen.  I'd prefer to starve the negative and spend my time enjoying the positive.  These three things are...

• My room is an electronic-free space
• Keep my temple covenants so that one day I can share a beautiful relationship with my chosen partner
• I like staying in the real world because of all of the wonderful real experiences I have in it

So after making some sub goals based off of the main goal I need a plan of action to help achieve those three sub-goals.  I made a list of objectives and those are the things I'll work on and report on.

1. Make signs of goals and affirmations as needed and display them where I will see.
2. Study extra resources on each of the three sub goals.
3. Work on changing my reactions to triggers.
• When I feel lonely I pick something from my service list and do it
• When I have trouble staying in the real world then I work on my current memorizing item
• When I feel tempted then I call someone on my close to list
4. Practice all of the above (pausing to read signs and visualizing, picking up my memorizing, feeling lonely, and anything else).
5. Repent every night before bed.

I haven't yet decided on a measuring stick for all of these goals, I'll do that later but for now I'm just going to work on  a little bit each day.

Monday:

* I read from Joseph Smith History and in the first part Joseph described the state of all the churches and their converts.  When they were preaching and the converts were joining the different churches they all expressed joy and love for each other.  The priests said they didn't care which church people joined so long as they were saved.  However afterwards when the priests and the converts met each other they began to argue over different things.  Joseph wasn't sure that they actually had good feelings towards each other to begin with but if they did it was soon eclipsed by the anger they felt as they argued.  This is what contention does to people.  If we try to prove we are right and don't allow others to also be right then we soon forget that we once loved each other.  If it feels contentious then you should stop or leave and work out a better way.

• Today I've not made much progress but I wasn't planning on it.  I had dental surgery and that is enough.  However I did say my repentance prayer.

Tuesday:

* I barely read today.  I was slow in the morning and had so many things to do, them Mom came and we kept busy until bed time.

• The only thing I did was say my prayer.  Oh I take that back I found the positive goals have been far more effective than I thought.  When I think of having an electronic-free room almost makes me giddy every time I walk into the room.  This has kept me from bringing my phone into my room very easily.

Wednesday:

* My thought comes from Joseph Smith History.  Joseph wonders at the fact that though he was an inconsequential boy with no money he still received a lot of attention and persecution.  The truth is that Satan knew what an influence he would have on the world and that is why all the persecution.  I find this true in my life.  When I am making progress in an area of my life, especially when I am getting close to my goal I find things suddenly become more difficult.  I often fail at that point but when I persevere and keep my trust in the Lord then I eventually overcome. 

• I forgot to say my prayer today but I still am going strong on the electronic-free room.  It's been a bit annoying but I want it so much that I've stuck to it.  
• I didn't really do anything else.  I did not feel good today, I might be a little sick but I'm also still in pain from my tooth.  I did a few things and then I took grandma over to Aunt Celia's to watch them make macarons.  Lydia is so excited to learn it all.  They also were watching the Ghost and Mr. Chicken and Grandma couldn't stop laughing at Don Knotts, it was super funny!

Thursday:

* My thought is in 1 Nephi 10:17-19.  Nephi wants to see the same things his father did and says that God is the same and that any who want to know only need seek with faith and it will be given to them.  I like that he included the part where God is the same.  He has shown us how to seek and get answers through the scriptures and because he is the same always and it has worked for others in the past it will work for us as well.

• I said my prayer and kept my phone out of my room.
• Nothing else but I did get some good cleaning done so that was satisfying.

Friday:

* I read a talk "There was Bread" by Bishop Waddell.  It is about preparing temporally for future events.  My favorite quote is "the Lord's guidance will provide protection and support to the extent that we heed and act upon His counsel."  When we do what the Lord asks then he is bound to do what he said he will.  It's a sure thing and that is very comforting.

• I said my prayer and kept the phone out again.
• Nothing new on the rest of the goals or anything else really, just getting by.

Saturday:

* Now I did read today but I really can't remember what it was nor what my thought happened to be (it is Sunday in actuality) so I'm skipping the share.  The only notable thing is that my tooth pain has become predictable and I shall have to take more pain killer.  If it still hurts Monday I am going in.

• I failed to say my prayer but the phone has stayed out.

Sunday:

* I read the 4 accounts of the first vision all which were written or approved by Joseph.  There are a few differences that could be troubling except for one thing.  I have a spiritual witness that it is true.  This witness has allowed me to trust in the Lord for many things to a point that I know it is true.  I've received so many evidences in my life that there isn't a believe in it for me.  I know it and I am so grateful that I can receive those answers and that can tell the difference from an answer from God and other influences.  I would not know where to go or turn to without that.

• Today I said my prayer.
• I also finally worked on my other goals.  I figured out how many signs I'll need to make and made a list of things I need to look up and do to put all the other goals into practice.

I'm feeling quite hopeful and excited for next week and the future in general so see you in the next post.