Taylor - Finding a Rythm

 This past week has been a little different from our usual. I wasn't feeling amazing, had an entire day where my stomach just HURT so I started off the week not exercising, which led to not having a desire to exercise at all. I did a few lighter workouts though, and felt pretty good while doing them and after. It can be hard to get into the mindset.

Austin got his wisdom teeth out! The dentist said that he had a pretty bad infection in/around both of the teeth. He said as soon as he injected him with the numbing medication, they started oozing pus. GROSS. Now that there is nothing blocking and retaining the infection, I can only hope that it will drain and heal quickly, because BOY that infection mixed with the blood is a nasty smell. He is doing pretty well, just extremely tired of soft foods already. He wants chicken. haha. I offered to make him mashed potatoes, but he doesn't want any!! Ugh lol can't complain about how you get your carbs right now bud.

There is one thing that I feel really awesome about achieving today. I don't normally participate in lessons, I just listen. And I struggle with staying focused enough to have a desire to go to anything but sacrament meeting. But today we had a Zoom RS Lesson taught by one of my friends. She was the first person I befriended when we moved into the ward, and we became pretty close. She was one of the first people I messaged besides family when we lost Ellie. She has uplifted me in so many ways, and encouraged me to do what was best for myself in the weeks and months following delivery. She is now 27 weeks pregnant, and I love her, her husband, and her unborn son SO much. She found out she was expecting just before we lost Ellie, so it's been a rollercoaster for us both. ANYWAYS, her lesson was on trials. A talk by Elder Holland. Her lesson was amazing, and she had began a discussion on how the Lord answers our prayers, although not in the time or way we always want them. She asked for examples of how we have seen that in our lives. Immediately I wanted to speak. I don't usually get the whole 'stomach jumps into your throat' feeling, but I did then. She had me speak last before moving onto the next subject. I had so much I wanted to say, but ended up only saying a little. As soon as I started talking, *I've been a little more of an emotional wreck lately* I started crying, and only said that God sends us the people we need most when we need them. Megan was one of those. She touched my heart by saying that even in my trial, I was also a huge blessing to her.

I think I've started getting a little more into a groove, understanding my body a little better. A week or two ago, I talked briefly with a guy who is going to get his masters as a Dietician. I picked his brain about a few things, and he gave me some advice. I haven't followed it to a T, but I have applied bits and pieces. My pre-pregnancy weight was 130. A week before I delivered, I was 176. I lost 15 lbs after delivery, another 5 the following week, and nothing since, putting me at 155. I have been stuck there since October!!! I have fluctuated a little, but always come back to 155, despite my consistency with workouts. I had even tracked my calories for close to a month, which did nothing. 

This past week, I have consistently not eaten breakfast (or a really light breakfast), had a light lunch, and then a decent dinner. I've eaten sugar, not watching what I eat closely, but not overeating - giving myself time to listen to my body and think "I'm not actually hungry, I just like what I'm eating", and get myself to stop. And this morning I weighed in at 149! I'm very happy, and hope that I keep progressing! I would honestly love to get back down to at least 140 before another pregnancy.

I'm hoping to instill the habit and desire to exercise in ways that I enjoy now, so that I can continue doing so when I don't feel like doing it during pregnancy. I really don't want to gain another 40 lbs haha.