Amber - Going at it again

 I know I've said this before that doing the exact same thing and expecting different results is one definition of insanity.  However I still feel really good about the goals.  I suppose I need to change something about them if I want different results, but I don't know what right now.  Here are the goals below with one bonus goal because it is fun and I've also been trying to do it anyways the last couple weeks so I might as well add it here.

One time things

• Make a plan of what extra things I'm going to study
• Make a plan of how I want to practice doing my daily goals

Daily goals

• Get up 6-7.  I prefer 6 but having enough sleep is more important than more morning time.
• Keep my room electronic-free
• Do service when I'm lonely
• Memorize when I drift off into an imaginary world
• Call someone when I feel tempted
• Do one hour of actual project/sewing time
• Repent each night
• Go to bed 9-10.  I aim for 9 but not sure if I can cut myself off by then if I already had a bad day.

Monday:

* I really want to get my stuff done in the morning so I'm hoping this week will be better, in the mean time my scripture study produced a little thought today.  D&C 30 finds David Whitmer being chastised because of his failure to listen to the Lord over the things and people of the world.  I might be a guilty of this sometimes.  However it made me think.  All the other people in the scriptures were getting new assignments and while I'm not sure what David's assignment was before he seems to have got either a repeat assignment or a backwards assignment.  Either way it impressed on me how often I look for new and better ways to do things when I haven't yet done the last one that I was instructed to do.  As a consequence I often get told the same thing as last time.  See the Lord always answers your prayers but sometimes it is not what you wanted but what you already have.  That is a part of having faith that I need to work on better. 

• My room is still electronic-free, though I have had a couple times I really just wanted to lay down while I was watching a video but I resisted and the result was that I either went and did something use while I watched or I finished the short video and went to bed so it has been useful in other ways as well.
• I went to bed at around 11.
• Alas I was busy all day and spent time with Chad so no sewing today.

Tuesday:

* I watched some conference I missed but totally forgot to read my scriptures and get a thought.  On the plus side we had an amazing lunch over the firepit and roasted marshmallows.

• Good on the room still.
• Again bed time was around 11.  It seems to be a trend here I just need to get it to go an hour earlier.
• I did not actually do sewing time but while Grandma and I watched a movie I did some hand sewing.

Wednesday:

* As I've been reading the D&C I've remembered how many of the revelations were to specific people.  You could make your own personal D&C if you wrote down all of your own personal revelation.  Anyways while reading another one today I wondered what the recipients thought of them and if they compared theirs to what others received.  It is very comforting that the Lord knows us so well as to know what will be best for us now and for our future.  Because that is true the best thing we can do is follow the personal guidance we receive.  It isn't just information that would be smart in general or just a right thing to do in the situation but it is the exact thing we can do that will give us the best thing we could get at this time and for all parties involved.  Even if that thing may bring pain or challenge at the time because in the end it will be worth it.

• Good on the room again
• Bed was midnight so not better but I did get off the computer at 11 and intend to get ready at that time.

Thursday:

* In D&C 33:16-17 it says that "the holy scriptures are given of me for your instruction; and the power of my Spirit quickeneth all things."  If we are to know things especially spiritual things and things of the next life then we must look in the scriptures.  Here the Lord tells us that we will have the spirit to help us in finding and recognizing the knowledge that will instruct us.  Doing this is one of the keys to being ready to meet the Savior when he comes.  Seeking that instruction in the scriptures often will provide us direction and plenty of oil for our lamps.

• Midnight again, guys my evenings are failures right now.  The desire to have more alone time is very strong.  Grandma's needs are fairly frequent though often short because she can be left to do things but she still needs to be checked on frequently.  Grandpa's needs are fewer but also very type 1, he says he doesn't need them right now but he really means otherwise.  If you don't help him within one minute or so he will do it himself.  Hence I really want to have alone time in the evening.

Friday:

* While reading section 33 I came across a bit that I haven't understood.  I studied the references a bit and it makes a little sense though I doubt I've understood it all.  Verse 4 says "And my Vineyard has become corrupted every whit; and there is none which doeth good save it be a few; and they err in many instances because of priestcrafts, all having corrupt minds."  That has always seemed rather unfair and even incorrect.  There are many good things going on with many good people in the world who are not associated with the church.  It is possible that is meant differently such as in a church specifically.  No one else has the authority from God to do baptism or other ordinances so anyone baptized without that authority might as well not have been as far as entering the kingdom of God is concerned.  However it doesn't seem like what it is saying.  So if we go directly for what it sounds like it is saying then what helped me was the corrupt part.  I remember an ad from the church in the new era.  It was a bowl of ice cream that was supposed to look delicious but had a dead cockroach in it.  This for me at least would turn me off from eating any of it.  Who knows what else might be in the ice cream.  The point is that though there is much good in the rest of the ice cream, the cockroach spoils the whole thing.  Something can be corrupted even though it has good in it.  So while I am still troubled by this verse it is a little better with this understanding.

• Alas! I have gone to bed exceedingly late!  I wanted to finish a thing and as per my usual it took far longer than anticipated.  I should have gone to bed when the game crashed it would have been perfect!  I'm thinking I may have to cancel solo gaming for all of next week.  Besides I would really like to sew and that didn't happen at all either.

Saturday:

* Due to my late night I got little sleep or at least for me, it was so little that I am in a fog today.  I did read but the thought was fleeting, however it was the only thought I got while reading D&C 35.  To preface I have to say that prophets are people too.  Sometimes they seem elevated to a perfect status but it is not so.  They make the same sort of mistakes we do though I will admit they probably repent far more often than I do and since they have lived longer they are surely further along the path than I am.  However they are still just one of us who happens to have been given the assignment to be a prophet.  Who knows how many others could have been the prophet but were given a different assignment.  The Lord loves us just as much as he loves his other children, including his prophets.   Keeping this in mind is key to what I thought as I read today.  In section 35 the Lord gave multiple instructions to others in which in essence told them what to do and how to take care of and support the prophet Joseph Smith.

This gave me some comfort and even some excitement to know that the Lord has prepared and given instruction to others to help me at times.  We have more than just spiritual and otherworldly assistance.  We are not alone in this world, we are meant to help each other on our mortal journey homeward. 

• No good on the bed time.  

I have a few tweaks for next week.