Amber - Better this week

 The plan is to be better this week.  I'll try my best and hopefully it will pay off.  I have definitely been more awake in the mornings and it wasn't until this monday that I woke up more tired than usual.  Here are the goals again.

Goals:

• Alarm at 9:00- wrap it up and go get ready for bed.
• Alarm at 9:30- time to put it down now.
• Bed at 10 pm
• Rise at 7 am (alarm included)
• Have an activity every day that I look forward to having time to do.

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Rise Time	7-8	7:25	7	6:30	6:30	6:30	9
Bed Time	11	10	11:30	10:30	11:00	12	12:45

Monday:

* In Section 58:4 it says "For after much tribulation come the blessings."  I have generally only thought of this in terms of a trial that comes upon someone and they have to deal with it and eventually they overcome and later see the blessings.  However, today I thought of it more short-term and goal oriented.  When you wish to learn a skill or develop some part of your mind or body then you have to work very hard.  Learning a language or developing muscles for a sport are both painful things.  Yet we put ourselves through the pain because we know that will bring the blessings.  If we view our trials in this way, trying to learn what we can then we will get something out of it and perhaps it will be easier to bear.

• I spent most of my free time doing my money course and working on organizing the housework.  I did manage to get a larger chunk of hand sewing done than usual so I am happy to be almost finished with something.
• I went to bed right at 10 but unfortunately the sick sign was still on the door and I really should have taken it off and kicked the phone out but I didn't so, yes that's right I was on my phone for an hour even though I was super tired and could have gone to sleep right away.  I'm quite annoyed at that. Tonight will have to be phone free.

Tuesday:

* Verses 26 and 29 are my focus today.  The latter says "But he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned."  That does sound very final and maybe even extreme for somebody who actually did make an attempt at keeping the commandment even if it was rather pathetic.  However I see this as a natural consequence.  God is not threatening this but warning us that this is the danger of being slothful.  When you examine the word damned it is just a way of saying something is halted in it's progress.  Verse 26 gives an example, when someone is forced to do things by others then they don't grow.  If Satan had forced us all to return we wouldn't have magically received the knowledge of how to make right choices, resist temptation, stand up for the right, push when things seemed tough, have faith when things seemed impossible, or even necessarily know right from wrong.  If you don't put the effort into something you don't get the natural growth and benefit from putting effort into that thing.  It is just natural that your progress will be halted in that thing.  If you don't put effort into obeying the Lord's commandments or doing what he ask you to do then you don't get the blessing of that thing.  Even if you try your best and you fail you will still get something from it, it is when you procrastinate or don't give sufficient effort that you lose out on the blessings.  Not because God is punishing you but because you are experiencing natural consequences.

• I worked a fair amount on my hand sewing again and just a little bit on the belt.  I wasn't really feeling like doing any crafting this last couple weeks.  However, I'm feeling it again so maybe I can get more done if I can make more time for it.

Wednesday:

* Joy D. Jones gave a good talk about teaching children "Essential Conversations".  She mentioned a thing I'd not ever heard or thought about, it has been taught before because it is a quote from President Hinckley and it makes sense but as I don't have children I suppose I've never focused on it.  He says that "The best time to teach is early, while children are still immune to the temptations of [the] mortal enemy, and long before the words of truth may be harder for them to hear in the noise of their personal struggles."  I know early is good but not why.  Children have a unique advantage that we as adults don't get without a great deal of faith and strict obedience.  Satan cannot tempt them until they are accountable.  They can thus practice feeling the spirit and making good choices before they have the complication of temptation.  The closest we get is binding Satan in our lives by being so good that the temptation is useless.  Many people teach their children very young about safety so they won't get hurt yet why is it not as essential to teach about spiritual safety?   Why do they have to be old enough to decide they want it before they are taught truth or old enough to understand before they are taught how to recognize the spirit?  By then it is too late to practice while it is safe, now they are unprepared facing real life situations in the real world.

• No crafting at all today.  I did a bunch of random things instead and then watched a movie.  I've felt off all day, going to start my period but haven't yet.

Thursday:

* Today is a different thought.  Section 59 has a ton of stuff and the first thing that made me think I'm not sure about.  Talking about the sabbath day verse 10 says it is a day appointed to rest and then verse 11 says "Nevertheless thy vows shall be offered up in righteousness on all days and at all times."  I know vaguely what it means, that we have to keep our covenants on all the other days as well, it's not just a Sunday thing.  It is the "offered up" phrase that I'm not sure about.  What do you think?  How does one offer up their vows?  Does it just mean when you repent and commit to do better, does it always involve prayer of some kind, or does it mean something more?

• If you notice I am improving on my main goal!  What is unusual is that I have not needed the full 9 hours that I have been needing.  As you know I've been working on my energy healing and I did a single exercise on my chakras.  Apparently I had an energy leak and ever since that I've always had physical energy at the end of the day.  It seems to have affected my sleep needs as well.  Pretty cool in my opinion.
• So on to the crafting.  I spent extra time watching videos yesterday and made my hands useful by sewing.  I finished my Hussif!  I know I told you before but this is an item made up of a line of pockets that roll up when being transported, generally used to carry sewing supplies or other stuff you need as you go about your day doing house keeping stuff.  It was used commonly in the 18th century up until the 20th century where off the rack clothes became the new way to get clothing and sewing your own stuff became uncommon.  However, it was used for other things and I am going to use it to organize and carry jewelry when I go places.  Here are a couple pictures, one laid out and the other rolled up.  I'll probably replace the ribbon as this option is too fragile for multiple uses.
  
  
  
  
  

Friday:

* I read about the sabbath day and in particular fasting.  Section 59 in verses 13-14 says to "let thy food be prepared with singleness of hearth that they fasting may be perfect, or, in other words, that they joy may be full.  Verily, this is fasting and prayer, or in other words, rejoicing and prayer."  Now I don't know about you but this is not how I feel about fasting.  It is more of an obligation because I'm supposed to do it not because I find joy in the actual fasting.  Yes I generally feel good afterwards but I have to say this has been one of my weaknesses.  So fasting is supposed to be joy and rejoicing.  You get hints of how this is so in the foot notes.  Under fasting it says "hungering and thirsting after righteousness".  This tells me what to do while I'm fasting rather than just ignoring food and doing the same thing I always do on Sunday.  I can see how if I would focus on the hunger of my soul and try to fill myself with that spiritual food then I would find joy.  Enoch is a perfect example of this when he stopped his hunt to pray all day and he found joy.  In the sermon on the mount, Jesus says that if you hunger and thirst after righteousness you will be filled with the Holy Ghost.  Definitely something I could use.  Also I really liked Jeremiah 29:13 "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart."  That is a promise there, not a maybe but a certainty.  If you do your best you will find the Lord and by so doing will find joy.  Next time I fast I'd like to make it more spiritual and joyful.

• I worked on my belt today.  No other crafts but I did finally get myself a bookshelf so I spent a bit setting it up and that is the first step to making my crafting space more accessible.

Saturday:

* Jan Newman gave the talk I read today, "Teaching in the Savior's Way."  It was all good stuff but I'm not a teacher.  I did find a thing a liked that he said, "we cannot give someone else the oil of our conversion, as much as we might want to."  Elder Bednar said "Their precious oil is acquired one drop at a time...patiently and persistently.  No shortcut is available."  I often will learn something and then when I share it people don't get it, and I don't understand why they don't get it, it is quite clear to me.  You can't make someone understand what you do when they don't go through the process you did or had inspiration that you had.  They have to experience it for themselves first.  

• Today is the first day where I feel I didn't get enough sleep.  I was pretty tired yesterday, did more physical labor while also on my period.  It was finally starting yesterday and today is the first real day.  I also woke up with a cold, so I guess I can't blame the amount of sleep I got as the thing that is making me tired today.
• Alas no crafting except a small bit of hand sewing.  I'm having one of the worst periods I've had in a long time.
• I stayed up tonight wandering through a swamp and helping people with their problems (yes I was gaming on the computer but it was a pretty cool looking swamp.)

Sunday:

* I did actually read today, a talk by Elder Stevenson "Hearts Knit Together."  What I got out of it was small, just how much the Lord loves us and cares for us individually.  It doesn't matter what others are doing or not doing, it they are doing things in the right way or could do it better.  In the end they have the Lord and he can fix all of those things, we don't need to.  All we do is offer our help and love them as they are.

• I didn't even go to church today because I was still having bad cramps.  Halfway through the day they let up and I feel much better now.  I also had a hard time in the evening going to sleep.  I was in bed but because I was "sick" I made the old mistake of having my phone in with me, it kept me up way too late.