Amber

 I am making some fantastic progress on my overall main goal but still not much on this element of it.  I have been doing some energy work that is making a difference and my scripture study as usual is helping.  So I would like to get this part down too.  So here are the goals again.

Goals:

• Alarm at 9:00- wrap it up and go get ready for bed.
• Alarm at 9:30- time to put it down now and go do the routine.
• Routine includes electronic free time, cleaning up last minute things, saying a prayer, getting dressed, washing my face, and either mediating or yoga or something really relaxing.
• Bed at 10 pm

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Rise Time	7	8	8	7:30	6:30	8:30
Bed Time	11ish	10:45	11:45	12	1

Monday:

* I read section 77 and it was a bunch of questions and answers Joseph had about the book of revelations.  I didn't really get a ton out of it but the one thing was when John ate a little book that was sweet to the taste but bitter in the belly.  I'm not sure what is meant by bitter in the belly but I imagine it would compel John to do something.  So it made me think how the gospel is sweet to the taste but in order to really understand it you have to feast on it, it has to become a part of you in the same way that food does.  You have to allow it to affect you and influence your life.  Then once it is truly a part of you then you have the responsibility to share it.  Perhaps like Lehi eating the fruit of the tree of life.  The taste was so joyful that after he had eaten it he had to share it with his family.  Perhaps the bitter is the weight of the responsibility that your new knowledge gives you.

• Yesterday I did ok, I was in bed around 10:30 and did actually put my phone down before I went to bed.  Though really I am supposed to do that an hour earlier but it is better than most days.  I'll take it as a step in the right direction which will make the next step slightly easier.

Tuesday:

I am having a rough day.  On my period could not fall asleep last night.  I went to bed before 11 but I was struggling to sleep until around 1.  Thus I woke up very tired and I have a headache and I have my cold coming back and then of course I feel blah from the period.  All that to say that I've got nothing to share or tell so see you tomorrow.

• Actually I did better this evening.  I made the choice to not get on the computer because it would have been too close to bed time.

Wednesday:

* I have read the same thing as yesterday and did like one thing.  In 78:18 the Lord says that we are like children and cannot bear all things right now.  Then he says "nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along."  What is hard for us to do or understand basically whatever is difficult in this life he will guide us, keep us on the safe path.  This way he leads will always be successful for us in the end, even if we don't know the purpose or what the path will lead us to.  We can always trust that whatever the path looks like if we are following the one he leads us on then it is the right one for us and it will lead us to the promised blessings of the kingdom and riches of eternity.

• Did ok today but it was a rough day again.  I managed to get a few more things done than yesterday.  I did get on the computer but I got off at 10:30.  Thus far it is a better week than the last few weeks have been.

Thursday:

* Today is stupid, I am so angry right now because I seem incapable of doing anything!  When I express this nobody takes me seriously, they play it down or try to help me see the positives (which is fine if they first acknowledge that I have a serious issue).  I am not exaggerating it is like I am handicapped but without any outward evidence.  I'm not lazy but you wouldn't know it from the amount I can do in a day.  Most people could accomplish the same amount of stuff in two or three hours that I do all day long!  It is one in the afternoon and I haven't cleaned up breakfast.  I've only got dressed (took 5 mins), read my scriptures, picked up my room (literally 5 mins worth, I timed it), prepared a package for shipping (took 15 mins), made breakfast (cereal and boiled eggs, really how long should that take), and put grandma down for a nap.  I've fit that much stuff in less than two hours before but it took me all morning today.  The rest of the time I was thwarted by feeling unwell, both from pain and needing to be on the toilet, Grandma was quite upset and kept wandering, my computer crashed, Grandpa has added another task to my list, and now my glasses have fallen apart again.  It is like everything combines to make my day as unproductive as possible.  The worst thing is the harder I try the more things get in the way!  These are classic symptoms of energy blockage and I know I can fix it but it is taking soooo long!  I just want it fixed now but unfortunately healing things takes way longer than I want it to.  Anyways sorry for the rant, maybe no one will see this but if you do then know I am usually more positive then this, I blame a large part on the time of the month.  I did actually read and got a thought but I'm not up for sharing right now.  Especially because I am supposed to clean the house, give the dog a bath, and get Grandma ready for a shopping trip. Update: managed to clean a tiny bit (felt good), I did wash the dog, and Grandma and I finished a shopping trip and Grandpa was nice enough to make us dinner.  I am now too tired to do any more but at least I did something else today.

• I was a bit depressed so I didn't get to bed until midnight but I did get off the computer around 11.

Friday:

* Short today, I read in a talk about how the church needs us each and how we need each other.  They need our voices, talents, skills, goodness, and righteousness.  I examined these and put them in a plain and actionable light.

• voices: comments during lessons, giving talks, visiting with people, expressing ideas and opinions in callings.
• talents & skills: (I can't see these as different things.  A skill is learned thing but it could also be a talent.  A talent could also be skilled, I don't really see a difference and how to categorize so I'm lumping them together).  For callings, to share in activities, to share with individuals, for ministering.
• goodness: being kind to people at church, ministering, callings, service activities, service as prompted by the Holy Ghost, plan your own service such as temple work or helping a neighbor or community.
• righteousness: your example, sharing your experiences.

• I am getting worse again.  I stayed up quite late last night playing.  Sorry Aimee not sure if the messaging is working.  To be fair I noticed that again I have not been planning on going to bed at the required time.  I always want to during the day but then when I finally have time to do something then I just want to keep doing it.

Saturday:

* My thought today comes from a story in conference of a bishop who influenced the youth in his ward.  He served 8 years and was so determined to help them succeed (most of whom were recent immigrants) that he formed a relationship with the principal of the nearby school and helped any struggling youth whether members or not.  He was so successful that almost 90% of the young men served missions and 15 youth became the first members of their families to attend college.  One of the keys to his success was his ability to give those youth a vision of they could become and then helped them prepare spiritually.  That vision of life in general and of service in the church coupled with helping them build their foundation of faith in Christ made all the difference to them.  I have recently realized how powerful a tool is envisioning what you can be or how you want things to happen.  When you focus on what you want or can become it gives you something to shoot for and keeps you from focusing on your inadequacies and failures.  Of course you must include actions with that otherwise it is just wishful thinking but if you include those actions and more important you put Christ at the center of it all then it can keep your heart light and hopeful instead of depressed.