Amber

 So this week is starting good and bad.  I'm progressing but it is slow.  I want to move on but recently learned that in order to move on from something I may need to learn all of the lessons it has to teach first.  Since I still don't go to bed on time I can't possibly have learned how to do it yet so that means I must keep trying.  I've gotten pretty fed up with my failures but I am actually making some progress so I also think focusing on that progress will help as well.  So here are the goals and I am also working on other things but haven't been tracking them because that can get a bit depressing when you fail.  However, it can also be helpful so I'm adding one of those here because it is more important than the others.  I am not praying as much so I have made two appointments, one in the morning and one in the evening, as if they are business meetings that I must attend every day.  The morning is my planning meeting and the evening is my report.

Goals:

• Planning meeting with God as soon as I am dressed and awake
• Alarm at 9:00- wrap it up and go get ready for bed.
• Alarm at 9:30- time to put it down now and go do my report meeting, afterwards do my routine.
• Routine includes electronic free time, cleaning up last minute things, getting dressed, washing my face, and either mediating or yoga or something really relaxing.
• Bed at 10 pm

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Rise Time	8:30	8	?	7	5:30
Bed Time	11:30	10:45-2?	?	12

Monday:

* I read a thing in D&C 81:5 about how we are to succor the weak, lift up the hands that hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.  I have seen people in these states and have been their myself.  I thought it interesting that each of these describes a person who is not doing anything or can't do something.  The weak person might be trying but it is hard for them, the hanging hands indicate that they aren't doing anything at all, and the feeble knees say that to even walk (do basic things is difficult) If you notice that in each of these it does not say that we should do things for them.  When someone is weak you give them aid so they can be strong, when someone is stuck or has given up you can give them direction and support and hope, when someone is struggling to just walk you can help them build up those basics.  God never says just kidding you don't have to do those hard things but he does lift our burdens so we can bear them, he gives us direction when we are lost, hope when we feel hopeless, support when we feel overwhelmed, and he gives us strength we didn't have to take the next step.

• I did my morning prayer good and failed at reporting for the day.  I also got off the computer at about 10:15, slightly better than last week.  In addition to that I didn't get on any games even though I did want to.  I realized I didn't have enough time.  My only problem is that I was still on my phone, well I also didn't get everything done earlier so I had to do that as well.

Tuesday:

* I really like this talk I read today in the priesthood session by Brother Corbitt "You Can Gather Israel".  It was about missionary work but I liked the part where he focused on the faith we already have within us.  Sometimes I wonder at my lack of faith and don't see how I can keep making so many mistakes on the exact thing I'm focusing on being better at and have been focusing on that for the last several years and still say I have faith! In the past couple of years I've learned a lot and I realize there is more involved in it and I need not compare myself to others who seem to be able to drop their bad habits as soon as they gain a testimony.  However, I sometimes still wonder at my faith and have wished it to be stronger.  Brother Corbitt reminded me that I have already made the choice to follow Christ.  I sided with him in the premortal existence, I stood faced with the knowledge that I would have to keep certain rules or be lost forever, that I would break those rules and thus be permanently unable to return to God on my own, and that the only hope I had of being saved was based upon an act that had not yet happened done by a person who had never done it and could theoretically fail (he had the choice, he was one of us, the rest of us were all going to fail) at keeping himself clean, choosing to put himself through so much suffering, and being able to do what we as mortals could never do.  Despite these fears or doubts that could have presented themselves I believed in the plan, I had faith in Christ that he could and would do what he said.  I already made that choice back then and that definitely has an impact on me now.  

• So actually I missed a couple days.  Tuesday I was in bed on time but didn't put the phone away and couldn't get to sleep.  This meant the next day I was tired but I was also sick, in fact so sick that I was worried I had something bad but I didn't and the next day it was all gone.  I did pretty much nothing on Wednesday and was up north on Thursday and though I did read both of those days I didn't find much to share.

Friday:

* I studied a little bit more about the law of consecration and found that one of the main purposes of the law is so that we may all become one.  D&C 51:9 "let every man...be alike among this people, and receive alike, that ye may be one, even as I have commanded you."  That implies that there is much more to it than money.  We don't want to just give someone money (unless that is the one thing they need), we are all rich in different ways, different talents or even experience and knowledge.  We can share all of these things and we can share our time and our kindness.  This also applies the other way around. Accepting help from others, kindness, time, knowledge, and even money is all a part of us becoming one with each other.  Trying to do it alone is basically resisting becoming one with others, often with people who would we would love to be more like or who have things in their lives that we wish we could have.