Amber

 So I skipped last week.  I was depressed last week and I have to say that not having to put my spiritual thought down did affect the quality of my scripture study, though I not as much as it used to.  I still tried to find something but since I wasn't actually writing it down it wasn't as important to find something.  I am feeling better this week and I have decided to add a little bit to the goals this week.  I need to do a few things to improve my days, I need better prayers, I need to get some sort of exercise, and of course to go to sleep on time.  I was getting tired of using the chart, partly because the post won't stay in "compose view" and I had to switch it back every time I updated.  Maybe I'll add one at the end of the week because I am fond of seeing the trend of the week.  So new goals below.

Goals:

1. Prayers

• Have a nice morning meeting about the day (after I am actually awake and dressed).
• Say one before scripture study.
• End the day with a nice evening meeting to report on the day (before I get ready for bed).

2. Exercise

• I don't care what the exercise is, I just want something during the day.  I can go for a walk with the dog, do yoga, or dance.  Also still not sure when I will do it.  I am thinking morning is best but then should I exercise before scripture study?  I'm not sure I can get all of my morning stuff in before 8 if I add exercise then.  But I don't really want to shower before I exercise.  
• Hmmm, I think I will plan on getting dressed for exercising, have my morning planning meeting, exercise, shower and ready, scripture and blog, then do breakfast stuff.  This is probably all that is possible in two hours and it still looks like it's pushing it for me.  I would have liked to add my energy work in there but I am ok if I can't, it is at about 8 that I need to start looking after Grandma but I can fit it in here and there during the day and if I have everything else done then it should be easy.  Actually it would be amazing if I could get this all done by 8 on a regular basis! 

3. Go to Bed

• Practice reacting to my alarms once a day, probably after I've finished my energy work.
• Wrap up my screen time at 9.
• Get off at 9:30
• Have my evening report meeting.
• Get ready for bed.
• Be in bed by 10-10:30.

Really it looks like I just need to implement a more exact and orderly morning and evening routine.  I have done it in the past and it was great, it would sure help now so I am going to try and see if this works or if I need to change it.

Monday:

* Today's thought is from section 94:9.  "But if there shall come into it any unclean thing, my glory shall not be there; and my presence shall not come into it."  This is speaking of the Kirtland Temple but I am applying it to my own home and mind.  If I keep my mind clean and keep my home free of unclean influences (examples of things I have had trouble with: stupid youtube videos, questionable literature, excessive negative news, violent video games, and anything else that drives the spirit away), then I will have a place and be in a position where I can receive revelation for myself.  Without the presence and glory of God there is darkness which really equates to a lack of knowledge and understanding.  I don't wish to be walking in darkness at noon day.  I have really enjoyed expanding my understanding and knowledge every day.  It is exciting and beautiful and I want it to continue and get better.  Keeping myself clean is a way to do that.  There are so many good things that I want to do that I don't see why I ever spend time on the less than good things.  Now I am not saying I am going to cut out all the fun stuff because I still intend to watch youtube videos, ready books, keep updated on the news, play video games, and consume other media.  However, we are spoiled for choice in this world and I just want to be a bit better at rejecting the stuff that is not good for the reason above and because it is a waste of my time.  Though I'm definitely not adding it to my official goals right now.  It seems likely that I'll add them later or as it often happens, as I improve in other areas these will fall away and improve naturally.

• So though I planned all of this on Sunday I didn't write these goals down until Wednesday.  This means that I didn't do my prayer stuff or exercise today.  I did get off the computer around 10 but was on the phone until much later.

Tuesday:

* I really liked the first verse in section 95.  The Lord says that those he loves he chastens.  I've heard this before but I like here that he gives further explanation.  It is so that their sins can be forgiven and they can be delivered from all temptation.  If he let us do whatever and only said I love you the way you are then how would we improve and would we really feel the need to repent?  We might remain in our sinful state, which isn't just about us being disobedient.  Putting that aside, when we live sinfully we are just living in a state where natural consequences will make our lives somewhat miserable.  God knows how to live joyfully, he knows all the laws and which ones will bring negative consequences and which will keep us safe.  His corrections are to help us overcome those bad habits and live joyfully as he does.  In fact Proverbs 13:18 says "Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction."  The Lord knows the way to wealth both in money and in knowledge and in health and every other area.  He knows how to overcome our shameful habits.  Choosing to ignore his help and correction is choosing self-sabotage.  It is keeping oneself in a state of darkness and ignorance.  This isn't what God has planned for us, he wants us to be wealthy and aware, he wants to give us light and joy so thus he corrects us.

• Again nothing today on the first two goals, oh actually I did have a good prayer today.  I also did actually get off of all screens at about 10 but then wanted to spend time with Mom so I stayed up until sometime after 11.

Wednesday:

* I didn't read today!  I was so slow and so behind that I pretty much forgot to read.  I did look over the scriptures for monday and tuesday so technically I read something but not what I had planned, nor did I get anything different from them.  So nothing here today.

• I did my morning routine as outlined above except that I didn't read and had to intersperse all sorts of stuff, in fact I didn't finish it until 7:30 pm and that was without any computer play time.
• I got up at 8 and had a nice morning prayer.  I also had a nice evening prayer but since I didn't read, I didn't get a scripture prayer.  I am putting down a lot of negatives, I am going to focus on what I did do instead.
• I did some yoga today
• I got off the computer at around 9:45.
• I went to bed at around 11.

Thursday:

* Today is a good day so far.  I read a nice talk about the wise man and the foolish man.  It was very interesting to me to realize that they both had much the same story to start.  They both wanted to build a nice house for themselves and their families.  They both had a good desire and they both put in the effort to make it happen.  They were both buffeted by the storm.  The only difference was the foundation.  Elder Wong of the Seventy said "the wise man built his house upon the the rock and the house stood still, whereas the foolish man built his house upon the sand and his house washed away."  Today Satan is not hiding his attacks but is pretty blatant.  The gospel is challenged in all areas now and if you don't build on the rock you won't make it.  It is more than just being a good member of the church and fulfilling our church duties.  It is making the gospel a daily thing and the church is just an added benefit.  The point is to go live with God not to act like we have church all day.  It means we involve God in all the things we do.  What things do you spend your time on?  Are they fun?  God likes fun, he likes learning, he likes work.  He wants us to laugh and create and spend time with people we love.  We involve him by being grateful for all of the things we see, by asking for help or for his opinion on our work or things we create.  We ask for help in learning or for help in cooking.  We allow him to rejoice with us and we notice when he gives us things.  That doesn't mean we can't sit down and read an enjoyable book or watch a movie with friends.  Many of the those things were inspired by God.  I find the Lord of the Rings to be full of good stuff and if I don't spend excess amounts of time I feel just fine playing Minecraft or Ark with my family.  My dinner turns out better when I ask for help in cooking it.  When we are faced with something difficult why is it that the first thing we do is not ask God for help, but we either try to do it on our own or we look it up on the internet.  Wouldn't it be more effective to ask for help in doing it and in finding the best resources to do it and then working and searching on the internet?  Disclaimer here, just so you know I'm definitely not perfect at this but when I remember to do it wow!  The results are way better than on my own or than relying first on any worldly knowledge or human experience.  This was not supposed to be long but I just kept going.  The point is that relying on the world instead of God is building on the sand and you will fall.  You aren't doing anything bad, your intentions are still good, in fact you are doing lots of good things by working and building.  The problem is that the sand can't sustain you when the storm comes.  The only way is to build on the rock, to involve God in your daily life and see him in all the blessings you around you.  To hear him when he speaks and to respond accordingly.  In short to have a daily relationship with him.

• Got up at around 6:30, unfortunately was on the bathroom for a half hour.  I did have a nice morning prayer but totally forgot to have a scripture prayer.  Still found something though as you can see.
• Did some more yoga this morning.
• I was off electronics around 11 and had my prayer and went straight to bed.

Friday:

* Another talk today, this time from Elder Teh of the Seventy.  He spoke of the need to really come to know the Savior and not just know about him.  It was pretty good but my favorite part was actually a quote by President Nelson.  He promised us that if we learned all we could about the Savior then our "ability to turn away from sin will increase" and our "desire to keep the commandments will soar."  I would very much like those things to increase in my life.  We know we are coming to know the Savior when it becomes more important than any other pursuit in your lives, when the words of the prophets become so ingrained on our hearts that they become our words, and when we realize the atonement of Christ applies to us individually and we use it. 

• Feeling a bit poorly today, I don't think I slept well and I think I may have hurt my ankle doing yoga.  My schedule got a bit mixed up and I said one prayer for the day and scripture study.  I also chose to stay off the foot and didn't do any exercise.
• Said a little prayer at night and got to bed sometime before 11.  However I did actually go to my room to get ready for bed at about 9:45.  Slowly it is happening, progress!

Saturday:

* I have a couple little thoughts and not sure which to share so I'll start with the first one I saw.  There is a promise in section 97:1-2.  Those who are seeking diligently for wisdom and truth shall obtain it.  When I have a concern or question of any sort I am supposed to search for it.  The key is in diligently, I want the truth, whatever it may be and sometimes I get tired of searching and give up for the present.  Or more likely I look at my concern and say "I don't have time or energy to put into that right now."  Thus I never get the answer.  Sometimes the concern is a difficult one and it will take a lot just to look because it is a stressful issue for me.  However, I would love to be at the point where I know the answer for myself. The other little thought is about blessings.  In the last couple verses 27-28, if you repent and forsake your sins then the Lord will "multiply a multiplicity of blessings upon" you and your family.  Say that five times fast.  One definition of multiplicity is a large number or various.  That sounds like a lot of blessings in different areas and then multiply that.

• Today is a little rough.  I woke up late despite the earlier bed time and I really didn't get much of a prayer to start.  Also no exercise due to my ankle again.  However I did go out and pick all the peaches on Grandpa's little peach tree.  A lot of them were marked up by the hail we had in the crazy storm a couple weeks ago.  But they are really tasty.
• I ended as a bad day often does, not even attempting to reach my goal.  I did not play computer games, in fact I was doing something useful.  I was working on my sewing but I did not go to bed until 1.

Sunday:

* Today is a nice Sunday.  I think I may be a little sick still but I did actually read today.  I read an profound talk by President Nelson called "Christ Is Risen; Faith in Him Will Move Mountains."  It was very powerful to read, more so than when I listened to it.  I got many things out of it and don't have time to share them all, plus this post would be even longer!  So I will share one but I highly recommend reading this if you wish to increase your faith.  At the very beginning there was a good reminder for me.  President Nelson says "If you have responded to your trials with a stronger discipleship, this past year will not have been in vain."  As usual I am applying this to my trials in general and not just the pandemic.  Whatever I am faced with will be worth it in the end.  Choosing to be a better disciple is choosing to follow Christ and do as God asks.  He knows specifically what we need and how this challenge can be overcome and how it can be useful in our lives.  Trusting him through this challenge is the smartest decision you and I can make.  He knows the best ways and methods.  Trusting in something else before him or not involving him at all in whatever challenge, no matter how worldly it seems and how removed from the spiritual realm, will guarantee more struggle, confusion, and failure than if we had simply trusted him.

• Up late today 8:45.  Did say a prayer but not for scripture study.  
• No exercise again but I think my ankle is improving, I didn't even notice it today.